the almost losing you

I’ve been here before

In this nightmare

The fear would wake me

And morning would drag me out

It wasn’t real, but was the scare?

It has come again

And morning cannot drag me out

It has come and

I am in the nightmare

Pouring sugar into my coffee

The eggs are boiling.

The eggs are boiling and your heart might be stopping.

We were supposed to fix this

Somewhere down the road

I was supposed to love you again

But I can’t recall a time I ever did

Is your heart still beating?

Is mine?

I always thought I’d be at work

I thought I’d get a call

I thought I’d be older

But I am older and my coffee is getting cold.

I suppose I should be crying

I cried two nights ago on the phone

Fuck you, you’re not the man I knew

I don’t even know you

Maybe you’ll survive this

Maybe you’ll be fine

Maybe you’ll grow old

But it won’t bring you back

I lost you long ago.