I was grieving before we were gone

I’d slip out, let you sleep, I stopped waiting for you to begin

another day I’d stop waiting to unlock the door when you’d come home

I let our ships pass and threw my white flag to the wind

and you didn’t notice

the burning in my cheeks at your cousin’s wedding

dancing with your brother just to know someone in the room

I knew then, and I grieved while you slept soundly next to me

I could convince myself it’s not that dire

you can get through this, it’s not a home on fire

Then the liquor would beg you for

a little more love, a little more

meet in the middle

Weeks passed by, and I

waited for you to keep your promise—

to try a little more, my unrest

went unnoticed even as I lied next to you

I lied to you

I think you loved me the best that you could at the time

but the man that sat across the table from me

couldn’t see I was screaming inside

Look at me! Listen! Talk to me!

don’t you want to build this home with me?

We sat surrounded by all the pieces you never put together

you asked me if they were why I’m letting go

I couldn’t ask you to hear me one last time

So I lied

I was grieving the whole damn time.